I have turned to doing nothing, ever. I often think about going out, finding things to do, but lately it just doesn't happen. Today I woke up, annoyed to still be alive. I decided, to make the best of it, maybe go for a walk and read a book. I opened the window to discover it is raining. I showered, which was quite the accomplishment. The plan to go to a coffee shop and read all afternoon. Not happening! Where does motivation come from? Can I buy some somewhere? I just feel so lost in my misery that I don't have any idea how to climb out and salvage my life. I try not to think about it... much. All the people around me with so much to do, I feel like a cheater, sitting here not enjoying the fact that I have nothing to do. Krissy came to visit this weekend, even that couldn't pull me out of my self-pity part. I need some inspiration in my life, some action, or at least, a reason to feel as miserable as I do.